Pretty Girl

Elsa took this shot of herself. I like it a lot though.

To: Ryan, Regarding: Bowl of Cupcake

As you know, fewer and fewer of my cooking, and even baking, attempts have ended in catastrophe. That is why it was with great confidence I attempted to bake some cupcakes for you today. I won't bore the Internet with the full details, any one who cares enough to read my post can guess at them anyway (the gist is I had no cupcake papers and thought I could just grease a pan, but I couldn't get them out so I tried freezing them and then "gluing their heads back on" with frosting) but let's just say they didn't entirely work out. 

Anyway, the frosting we made was really good and...You had to know when you married me that someday I would serve frosting for desert and not much else.

The following pictures will tell you the tragic story.

The girls were pleased with the results though, and I guess that was what mattered. Actually, I heard Sariah tell Elsa "these are the best cupcakes ever!" and I smiled thinking, "Man, this girl's mother must be worse than I am!" 

Love, 

Your Wife (who probably has some redeeming qualities)

PS. This is desert tonight:

IT MUSSSSST FEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!

Got "tagged" by Melody

6 names you go by:

1. Emma Lee
2. Emma
3. Emmerloo
4. Mommy
5. Sport (my husband's sweet term of endearment for me)
6. Emma-son (my boss calls me that, I guess it's a Karate Kid reference?)

3 things you are wearing right now:

1. A pair of pre-preggie jeans I squished into with all my might!
2. Tank top
3. Hair clip

3 things you want very badly at the moment :

1. To open the fridge, take out the big, chunky, moist, brownie like cookies that Ryan says are "off" and cover them with caramel, warm 'em up, stick them on a big bowl of ice cream and eat them until I am sick and in pain from being too full.
2. To fit into all of my jeans without having to squish with all my might.
3. For number one and two to be simultaneously possible.

3 People who will fill this out:

If you are reading this, consider yourself tagged!

But the following three are ultra tagged, so they HAVE to fill it out:
1. Lisa (Matt may sub for her)
2. Kenna (cause she says funny things)
3. Ryan (cause he hates these thing. HATES them!)

2 things you did last night:

1. I bought a new couch. Woooo Hooooooooo!
2. We hung out with our friends, Doug and Karrie. Went on a cruise actually, cause Doug had convinced Karrie to cut her hair to afford it. Her hair looked awful though so they got in this huge fight on the boat. It was a hoot!

3 people you last talked to on the phone:
Elsa called me from the back seat...I was in the front seat.
My mother
Ryan

things you are going to do tomorrow:

The same thing I do every day...try to take over the world.

Hey, "The hand that rocks the cradle" right?

3 of your favorite beverages

I can't do just three. I LOVE beverages!
1. Green tea
2. White tea
3. Herbal tea
4. Diet Coke or Dr Pepper (I didn't forget the ., it's not on the can, look at one, I swear)
5. Sonic Cherry limeade

She is Saying "Happy Mothers' Day"

Giveaway!!!

(From Sara's Blog:
http://sarasalwaysright.blogspot.com/)

The first 3 people...to leave a comment on this blog will receive something made by me.However there are some limitations:1. I make no guarantee that you will like what I make :)2. What I create will be just for you3. It will be done within a year (might take a while)4. You have no clue what it is going to be5. I reserve the right to do something funny/odd/normal/whateverHere the catch: if you choose to do this, you must post this on your blog and be ready to make something for three people too. This will be fun! When you receive the fabulous item I make you, you must post a picture of it on your blog.

First Car After the Bail Outs

Two Weeks

In the morning, Adele will have lived with us for two weeks.

Adele, any thoughts?

This is Our Miracle

Because she was so early, they told us she would be about 3, MAYBE 4 pounds. They told us to prepare for AT LEAST two weeks in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit, and maybe more than that. Maybe a good month or more.

They said she would need oxygen to breath, an incubator to keep her warm, and to be fed with IVs and tubes.
This is Adele Elizabeth, born at nearly 5 lbs, 7 oz. She has good lungs, and didn't need any oxygen given to her at all, she has body fat and can regulate her own temperature, and she is eating like a little piggy. Her APGAR score was 9.9. The doctor who delivered her also calls her our miracle baby. He says she looks better than many full term babies he's seen.

You can see in the pictures, they took some extra precautions, and they will watch her very closely for the next few weeks, and she had to have an IV (in her little head! But her dad saw her get it and he said she just laid there and did not even mind it at all) because her blood sugar WAS a little low (she is eating well and it has gone up to where it should be-perfect) and she needed a little fluids, but she is most likely coming home with me when I discharge. We could not have done better.

Quote from 'Home" by Marilynne Robinson

"Her father told his children to pray for patience, for courage, for kindness, for clarity, for trust, for gratitude. Those prayers will be answered he said. Others may not be."
____________________________________________________________

I had meant to put a blue carnation on the table this last Saturday, in remembrance of my little (too little) boy's "birthday".

Instead, last Thursday we made a manic, middle of the night, emergency dash the the hospital, in hopes that next year we will have a birthday celebration and not remembrance. I have been here in the hospital since then, and was not at my table Saturday to place his flower.

I am trying to be steady and brave. I am trying not to focus on the scary part--there will be increased likely hood of the "ifs" that come with risking your heart on a child anyway.

I am looking around me and only letting myself think it went so well this time; my daughter has a chance. I am trying not to dwell on the anger of knowing maybe had we figured out then what we know now, my son would have had a chance too. But last Thursday night was not the first time I have felt I had to put the memory of the boy I lost aside to focus on the girl I need to save. When they told me what was happening to her, and that is was likely what had happened to him, I had to be glad of the findings and move forward, when I wanted to cry and ask why no one had thought of this when he may have been helped too.

I am humbled by the stories of other mothers --to think they have the strength to go on and hope when their babies are smaller, weaker, or their child is sicker, and suffering over and over--Because of them, I am trying to be only grateful for the few extra weeks of safety the discovery and intervention gave my new child, for the few extra days the antibiotics gave her time to stay and grow, for the technology they have to sustain her when she gets here, for the little ones who came before her and taught her doctors what to do, and for her strong little heartbeat that hasn't wavered on the monitor since they started watching it Thursday night.

In a few days, there will be a new person on this world that will have as much of my love and worry as my first daughter does. It's hard to imagine there could ever be another person to enter this world that could make me love that hard again. I can only imagine how it will feel to have my heart become that much bigger.

I am amazed. I am blessed. I am trying to put Grateful before Terrified.